Never Split The Difference 02

12 Sep 2019

This is Not a Book Review Of “Never Split The Difference” It is the understanding that I had by reading the book.

Types Of Yes

There are three types of “Yes” that are used in negotiations and in regular conversations.

  • Counterfeit
  • Confirmation
  • Commitment

A counterfeit yes is what we say… when we just want to get rid of the salesman or anyone who is trying to convince us of anything. Flat Earther: Do you believe the Earth is Flat? Me: Yes [Counterfeit 100%] A confirmation yes is what we use when we agree that someone else is right… the main use that I have found for this is to stop the other from further explaining whatever he or she is explaining… to which I don’t agree. This allows me to stop their conversation and start mine.


A commitment yes is when we genuinely agree with someone. This is the kind of yes that salespeople and negotiators should look for, a Yes with the intent to commit.

Start With “Is this a bad time?”

When you start with “Is this a bad time?”, two of one thing is going to happen. The other party is either going to say “No, this is not a good time” to which you can say “Sure when should I call you back”… this is win since now you have a proper time to call. Or the other party to say “Yes…”, and this is a jackpot since now the other party is going to listen to what you have to say and they have agreed to it.

Provoke A No “Have you given up on this project?”

By provoking a “No” from the opposing party you create an opening form which you can initiate the conversation. Your opponent will most likely explain themselves and that is where you opening comes from.

Intentionally Mislabel An Emotion To Get A “No”

“I feel like you are not totally on board with my suggestion” “I feel like your not in a good mood today” Anything that can initiate a “No” will do. Once again by doing so you can create an opening and soften up your opponent by making him say No early in the conversation. Once a party says no they are more likely to listen to whatever you have to say afterward.

That’s Right

Aim for “That’s Right” not “You’re Right” The later is conformation Yes not a commitment Yes. While “That’s Right” is a confirmation. Once you get to “That’s Right” in a conversation it means you are making good progress.

Do Not Compromise

There are times when compromise can cool down or solve a problem, but there are also times when compromising can yield to bad or unacceptable results. Know which situation it is. Clearly define your goals and set a line from where you must not compromise.

No Deal Is Better Than A Bad Deal

Always be ready to walk away from a deal since no deal is always better than a bad deal. If you walk into a negotiation with a mind to walk away if the deal is bad you will automatically get a better response. This always walk into a negotiation with a mind to walk away if it is a bad deal.

The Story Of Mismatching Shoes

Imagine this scenario: You must go to an important meeting or place. Your wife wants you to wear brown shoes while you want to wear black shoes. This is a situation where splitting the difference or meeting halfway or compromising is not going to work. If you do any of that you will end up with a brown shoe and a black shoe. Which according to y opinion is worse than wearing no shoes at all.

Acknowledge Their Fears

When you are negotiating don’t just keep on pushing the benefits of the deal. It is equally important… or more important to ask what they are afraid of or what is preventing them from deciding. There always will be scenarios which will be preventing them from deciding. Ask them about it and clear up their misunderstanding and mitigate their fears.

Tell Them Everything They Have To Lose

Talking about what they have to gain by choosing your service is one thing but you must also tell them everything they have to lose if they decide not to go with you for their project or product.

Let The Other Go First… most of the time

Sometimes it is better to go first and sometimes it is better to let the other person initiate. While negotiating for a salary the employee must never go first unless he or she has extensive knowledge and research on how much people of his experience are making in similar companies. Even then it is better to let the company go first. We, humans, tend to undermine our experience and expertise.

Instead of figuring out a range, pivot to non-monitory terms

When the other party is not budging on monitory terms it is then time to take out non-monitory items for debate. Non-monitory items include things like, vacations, overtime, sick leaves, travel allowance…basically anything that has something to do with the job but not directly with the salary. By pivoting to non-monitory terms if the company is not offering the non-monitory, they will try to compensate them with an increase in salary.

When you do talk numbers, use Odd ones

Odd number hold a kind of power on our unconscious mind. It feels calculated after a long tedious calculation and thus feels more rigid and unchangeable. So, if you ask for a salary of say 56,743 it feels like a solid number set in stone. Not changeable.

Surprise your counterpart with a gift

While negotiation to turn the odds in your favor you can surprise your counterpart with a gift. A service that is easy for you to do but is extremely valuable to the other party. Or anything along the same lines. By doing so you get considerable benefits from the other party in monitory or non-monitory terms.

P.S: This blog has not been optimized for SEO. The web is already filled with SEO optimized crap that no one wants to read. If this blog is good enough it will rise organically.